Current Thoughts

A Glimpse into Randomness

I can be pretty random to say the least. Ask my wife. Ask any of my former students in youth ministry. Ask my boys.

 

At any given time, I have entirely too many (disorganized) thoughts, questions and struggles going on in my mind. Unlike my good friend Casey Cease, I don't think I could have ever been officially diagnosed with A.D.D., but sometimes I feel like it'd be nice to capture a thought or two for at least five minutes to come up with some semblance of a game plan on what to do with said thought. Ha.

One thought I've been wrestling with (and feel like I've pinned down at least momentarily) is "Why in the world am I so inconsistent"?

Honestly, our most recent transition and our current life stage have really shaken my nice little ministry box and my nice comfortable routine. Don't get me wrong, I love this season, and so does Steph. But it's a taxing season, full of refereeing two year old disputes, coordinating eating, playing and napping schedules, trying to be intentional to cultivate intimacy and communication and seeking to sustain a healthy marriage.

just a normal day, workin', hanging with the boys

In the midst of all this, I want to work as unto Christ (Colossians 3:23-24) and be faithful as a pastor and as a marketer. Truthfully though, I've been plagued with inconsistency in my spiritual life for as long as I can remember. So one word has randomly kept popping into my mind.

The word diligent.

A couple of weeks ago, I captured the thought for two seconds and decided to look up the meaning of diligent. "Characterized by steady, energetic, earnest effort." Nice. Here are my boys exhibiting earnest effort with their Handy Manny tools (fixing a table of course):

I've got to be honest. The word diligent does not describe me right now. I can justify till the cows come home (does anybody really say that any more?...) how I really am spiritually diligent because I have my 20 minute quiet time, I go to worship each Sunday, small group, I prayed for 30 seconds with my family, my intentions are good, I'm a nice guy (some may argue this one), etc. etc. etc. But is my life characterized by diligence? In light of my life's purpose and mission, do my little snapshots and soundbites of obedience and effort really make the grade?

Forget the external appearances of your life - I'm talking about your heart. Your heart's desire to know and pursue God and his mission.

Historically, men and women who God used to make great impact on their world for the sake of the gospel...these men and women were diligent. They got a singular focus about their lives, and they didn't look back. They were about steady, energetic and earnest effort. So in an effort to wrap up my latest random thought, what are your thoughts? Do you struggle with inconsistency? What are you doing about it? Trying harder? Just staying guilty? Do we have a game plan for action? Does it involve Christian community and relationships? What if you opened up to someone about your chronic inconsistency? I am...sort of. Will you hold me accountable to being diligent? -JB

Sacrifice (Part 2)

From my previous post:

So Wednesday as I'm hanging at my office (Starbucks), jamming to my personalized Pearl Jam Pandora station, their 1998 hit song "Wishlist" comes flooding through my headphones. As I'm nodding my head (yes...I'm sure people were staring), one of the lyrics grabbed my attention.

"I wish I was a sacrfice but somehow still lived on..." 

 

Eddie May Be on to Something...

Like old Eddie V. from Pearl Jam, our conception of sacrifice means certain death. If I live sacrificially, somehow I'm missing out on something. It'll kill me. But imagine...what if we could be a sacrifice...but still live on? What if we patterned our lives after someone who lived on after great sacrifice?  

 

Fast Forward 

So here it is, September 2, and I'm somehow managing to complete my thought from an earlier blog post. So here goes my effort to tie this thing up. As I'm sitting here (talking to myself...Tux is staring at me, but surely he's used to it), this thought keeps popping in my head. In our flesh, we are all about self-preservation. It never ceases to amaze me how, even in the midst of religious activity, service, Bible study, etc. we hold tightly to "me, my and mine." 

 

I just finished Facebooking with an old friend about the super strategic method of handing out tracts to explain to people they are lost in their sin and in need of a relationship with Jesus to radically redeem, transform and restore them to new life. Now, before you go getting upset about me knocking tracts, keep in mind that for years I took groups of students to do door-to-door evangelism all over the country...handing out (you guessed it) tracts. Nothing wrong with a good old gospel tract. BUT, there is everything wrong with tracts, events, programs and other approaches when they become a substitute for intentional relational discipleship. In other words, don't hand out a tract, pat yourself on the back while you retreat back behind a wall of self-preservation and comfort. God forbid we get our hands dirty with (gasp) actual relationships! Stop and think on this for a sec - because it requires brutal honesty to come to grips with whether you're playing church or seeking to impact the kingdom one relationship at a time.

 

Side note:

The goal is not to get people to "accept" Christ! Most Christians get to this point, then they bail out of the relationship as if they've done their good deed and must move on. The goal is to bring them along in the faith until they can reproduce the same process in others. Guess what? I have miserably failed in this over the years! But I'm ready to change. 

 

 

Sing it Again

Eddie says, "I wish was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on". 

Matthew 16:24-26: Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. ²⁶For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" 

 

Jesus was the sacrifice who somehow still lived on. He poured himself out for the sake of others (Philippians 2) and ultimately became a sacrifice so that we might have life in and through Him. The great paradox is that when we mortify (put to death) all of our self-preservationist tendencies and finally decide to "lose our life" for His sake...it is exactly at that point that we find life. But oh the struggle to get there! Oh the pride and selfishness we have to deal with before we're willing to surrender. 

 

As a kid, I used to sing nearly every Sunday, "I surrender all." Sure, what is in view is the one time call to be justified with God through Jesus. But it's also a daily call as Jesus bids us to die to ourselves so that we might walk and abide in the life we've been given. Last thing, and then I'm done. Don't think of the sacrifice primarily in terms of what you're "doing." Many hang their hat on the time, money, service, etc. that they are sacrificing for God's sake, but their hearts are far from God, and their character hardly resembles the character of Jesus. These things are really secondary. First, we have to deal with our heart and the motives of our hearts. Start with an honest assessment of your heart and the desires of your heart, and the "action" will come. Ask yourself...

 

Are there any ulterior motives I need to root out? 

Am I living for me but masking my motives with religious lingo and religious activity?

Is it my heart's desire to lay down my life for the sake of the gospel? 

Would I give up everything today just to follow Jesus? Is He enough? 

 

Am I sacrifice that somehow still lives on? (Galatians 2:20)

 

ps - sorry no pics. i'll make sure my next post has pics a plenty! :)