Sacrifice (Part 1)

So Wednesday as I'm hanging at my office (Starbucks), jamming to my personalized Pearl Jam Pandora station, their 1998 hit song "Wishlist" comes flooding through my headphones. As I'm nodding my head (yes...I'm sure people were staring), one of the lyrics grabbed my attention.

"I wish I was a sacrfice but somehow still lived on..."

Hmmm.

I've got to be honest. I look around, I look at the Church and more importantly I look in the mirror, and "sacrificial living" is far from any type of consistent reality that I'm observing. Sacrificially investing in the lives of others is a dying trade. For me I look no further than my home. Confession time (again): NBA playoff basketball has been going on for like 11 months...well, at least it feels that way, especially to my very patient wife. It's so easy for me to plop on the couch, grab the remote and watch the game...potentially to the neglect of my fam! 

Here is one instance where we've determined it is absolutely okay to watch tv with the fam...(the weekly "Cars" fix)

See the family here:

 Turtle Fam

On a side note: Can I just tell you that it is absolute torture to root for the Houston Rockets' enemy and nemesis in these NBA Finals? Go....Mavs...That just looks awkward typing it. But I've gotta keep the love in Texas, especially when the competition is the pre-madonna drama queens, one who WAY too frequently speaks about himself in the third person. Jonathan hates that.

Where's the Reward?

Back to sacrifice. It has increasingly dawned on me how self-centered I am. Big shock - please hold off the emails and reponses congratultating me for coming around to what I'm sure everyone else has known for quite some time.

Seriously though.

Why do we bask in our own leisure and neglect investing in others? Why is it all too easy to check out and choose our own personal comfort over inentionally connecting with others, getting to know them, or (gasp) ministering to them in some tangible way? This is so much bigger than being a basketball fanatic. What is it that we're pursuing for ourselves, but with complete disregard for others and perhaps with no thought of God's purpose and mission for our lives?

I think (sometimes subconsciously, sometimes not) we live what we believe. When it comes to sacrificial living, investment and discipleship, we often weigh the perceived cost and stop short because we're thinking, "Where's the reward"? What's in it for me? Why should I have to give up my ________? Besides, being intentional with relationships is messy. How many of us have a past littered with broken relationships? No? You may be reading the wrong blog then!

Eddie May Be on to Something...

Like old Eddie V. from Pearl Jam, our conception of sacrifice means certain death. If I live sacrificially, somehow I'm missing out on something. It'll kill me. But imagine...what if we could be a sacrifice...but still live on? What if we patterned our lives after someone who lived on after great sacrifice? Let's continue this for another time... Thoughts?

taste and see

Psalm 34:8 tells us: "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

I thought about this verse earlier this evening as the boys were throwing down some of mom's delicious cheesy chicken soup.

                                                           

Shortly thereafter, Luke and Levi eagerly devoured some popsicles while hanging out on the front porch.

for levi...eating is very spiritual (i think he's meditating here)

Luke...well, his appetite is fickle to say the least. Tonight was actually a good dinner night for Mr. Luke. Though he did manage to squeeze down a few bites of the soup, he mostly got stuffed on chips and milk (much to his dismay - not chocolate milk). However, when mom mentioned the possibility of an orange flavored frozen delight...game over. Suddenly, Luke drew from a reservoir of hunger previously unknown. Amazing how quickly four bites of chicken disappeared after 15 minutes of haggling over 1/4 teaspoon-sized nibbles.

Levi...different story. Levi sampled two bowls of soup. Then he asked for more. We had to cut the kid off. I mean, don't get me wrong - I want beefy, strong boys, but this kid takes eating to a different level sometimes. Scary.

Back to Psalm 34. I read this passage earlier this week - picking through Psalms and the book of Deuteronomy right now. Our world is crazy busy right now (I'm sure yours is super chill, laid back, not busy at all). In the midst of getting my feet wet with a new ministry, new church, upcoming move, part time job, etc. etc. this verse was a good reminder, a good guage to check my heart in all of this. 

See, there's no doubt when the boys are hungry (see above pics). It's written all over their faces, literally. Levi can't hide his love for cheesy chicken soup or orange popsicles. So I'm asking myself tonight, am I hungry for God? If I have this God-sized hole in my soul that is only filled with communion with Jesus, am I hungry for Him? When's the last time I walked away from time spent in Scripture, in prayer, in a worship service, hanging with others saying, "Man, I've tasted and seen that Jesus is good." I've been there. Love it. But it's so easy to fall away. So easy to put it in on cruise control. I don't want that. I want communion with almighty God. As my good friend Paul Shockley says, "I want to want God!". So tonight I'm checking my heart. I'm not crazy about what I see at this particular moment, but I'm asking God to grow in me a stronger desire and an appetite for Him. He's good (so much more than we know). The boys love to taste good things. Why is that we become so complacent with tasting something so good?

Taste and see.

My boys did. What about you?