Current Thoughts

A Glimpse into Randomness

I can be pretty random to say the least. Ask my wife. Ask any of my former students in youth ministry. Ask my boys.

 

At any given time, I have entirely too many (disorganized) thoughts, questions and struggles going on in my mind. Unlike my good friend Casey Cease, I don't think I could have ever been officially diagnosed with A.D.D., but sometimes I feel like it'd be nice to capture a thought or two for at least five minutes to come up with some semblance of a game plan on what to do with said thought. Ha.

One thought I've been wrestling with (and feel like I've pinned down at least momentarily) is "Why in the world am I so inconsistent"?

Honestly, our most recent transition and our current life stage have really shaken my nice little ministry box and my nice comfortable routine. Don't get me wrong, I love this season, and so does Steph. But it's a taxing season, full of refereeing two year old disputes, coordinating eating, playing and napping schedules, trying to be intentional to cultivate intimacy and communication and seeking to sustain a healthy marriage.

just a normal day, workin', hanging with the boys

In the midst of all this, I want to work as unto Christ (Colossians 3:23-24) and be faithful as a pastor and as a marketer. Truthfully though, I've been plagued with inconsistency in my spiritual life for as long as I can remember. So one word has randomly kept popping into my mind.

The word diligent.

A couple of weeks ago, I captured the thought for two seconds and decided to look up the meaning of diligent. "Characterized by steady, energetic, earnest effort." Nice. Here are my boys exhibiting earnest effort with their Handy Manny tools (fixing a table of course):

I've got to be honest. The word diligent does not describe me right now. I can justify till the cows come home (does anybody really say that any more?...) how I really am spiritually diligent because I have my 20 minute quiet time, I go to worship each Sunday, small group, I prayed for 30 seconds with my family, my intentions are good, I'm a nice guy (some may argue this one), etc. etc. etc. But is my life characterized by diligence? In light of my life's purpose and mission, do my little snapshots and soundbites of obedience and effort really make the grade?

Forget the external appearances of your life - I'm talking about your heart. Your heart's desire to know and pursue God and his mission.

Historically, men and women who God used to make great impact on their world for the sake of the gospel...these men and women were diligent. They got a singular focus about their lives, and they didn't look back. They were about steady, energetic and earnest effort. So in an effort to wrap up my latest random thought, what are your thoughts? Do you struggle with inconsistency? What are you doing about it? Trying harder? Just staying guilty? Do we have a game plan for action? Does it involve Christian community and relationships? What if you opened up to someone about your chronic inconsistency? I am...sort of. Will you hold me accountable to being diligent? -JB

Sacrifice (Part 2)

From my previous post:

So Wednesday as I'm hanging at my office (Starbucks), jamming to my personalized Pearl Jam Pandora station, their 1998 hit song "Wishlist" comes flooding through my headphones. As I'm nodding my head (yes...I'm sure people were staring), one of the lyrics grabbed my attention.

"I wish I was a sacrfice but somehow still lived on..." 

 

Eddie May Be on to Something...

Like old Eddie V. from Pearl Jam, our conception of sacrifice means certain death. If I live sacrificially, somehow I'm missing out on something. It'll kill me. But imagine...what if we could be a sacrifice...but still live on? What if we patterned our lives after someone who lived on after great sacrifice?  

 

Fast Forward 

So here it is, September 2, and I'm somehow managing to complete my thought from an earlier blog post. So here goes my effort to tie this thing up. As I'm sitting here (talking to myself...Tux is staring at me, but surely he's used to it), this thought keeps popping in my head. In our flesh, we are all about self-preservation. It never ceases to amaze me how, even in the midst of religious activity, service, Bible study, etc. we hold tightly to "me, my and mine." 

 

I just finished Facebooking with an old friend about the super strategic method of handing out tracts to explain to people they are lost in their sin and in need of a relationship with Jesus to radically redeem, transform and restore them to new life. Now, before you go getting upset about me knocking tracts, keep in mind that for years I took groups of students to do door-to-door evangelism all over the country...handing out (you guessed it) tracts. Nothing wrong with a good old gospel tract. BUT, there is everything wrong with tracts, events, programs and other approaches when they become a substitute for intentional relational discipleship. In other words, don't hand out a tract, pat yourself on the back while you retreat back behind a wall of self-preservation and comfort. God forbid we get our hands dirty with (gasp) actual relationships! Stop and think on this for a sec - because it requires brutal honesty to come to grips with whether you're playing church or seeking to impact the kingdom one relationship at a time.

 

Side note:

The goal is not to get people to "accept" Christ! Most Christians get to this point, then they bail out of the relationship as if they've done their good deed and must move on. The goal is to bring them along in the faith until they can reproduce the same process in others. Guess what? I have miserably failed in this over the years! But I'm ready to change. 

 

 

Sing it Again

Eddie says, "I wish was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on". 

Matthew 16:24-26: Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. ²⁵For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. ²⁶For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" 

 

Jesus was the sacrifice who somehow still lived on. He poured himself out for the sake of others (Philippians 2) and ultimately became a sacrifice so that we might have life in and through Him. The great paradox is that when we mortify (put to death) all of our self-preservationist tendencies and finally decide to "lose our life" for His sake...it is exactly at that point that we find life. But oh the struggle to get there! Oh the pride and selfishness we have to deal with before we're willing to surrender. 

 

As a kid, I used to sing nearly every Sunday, "I surrender all." Sure, what is in view is the one time call to be justified with God through Jesus. But it's also a daily call as Jesus bids us to die to ourselves so that we might walk and abide in the life we've been given. Last thing, and then I'm done. Don't think of the sacrifice primarily in terms of what you're "doing." Many hang their hat on the time, money, service, etc. that they are sacrificing for God's sake, but their hearts are far from God, and their character hardly resembles the character of Jesus. These things are really secondary. First, we have to deal with our heart and the motives of our hearts. Start with an honest assessment of your heart and the desires of your heart, and the "action" will come. Ask yourself...

 

Are there any ulterior motives I need to root out? 

Am I living for me but masking my motives with religious lingo and religious activity?

Is it my heart's desire to lay down my life for the sake of the gospel? 

Would I give up everything today just to follow Jesus? Is He enough? 

 

Am I sacrifice that somehow still lives on? (Galatians 2:20)

 

ps - sorry no pics. i'll make sure my next post has pics a plenty! :) 

Sacrifice (Part 1)

So Wednesday as I'm hanging at my office (Starbucks), jamming to my personalized Pearl Jam Pandora station, their 1998 hit song "Wishlist" comes flooding through my headphones. As I'm nodding my head (yes...I'm sure people were staring), one of the lyrics grabbed my attention.

"I wish I was a sacrfice but somehow still lived on..."

Hmmm.

I've got to be honest. I look around, I look at the Church and more importantly I look in the mirror, and "sacrificial living" is far from any type of consistent reality that I'm observing. Sacrificially investing in the lives of others is a dying trade. For me I look no further than my home. Confession time (again): NBA playoff basketball has been going on for like 11 months...well, at least it feels that way, especially to my very patient wife. It's so easy for me to plop on the couch, grab the remote and watch the game...potentially to the neglect of my fam! 

Here is one instance where we've determined it is absolutely okay to watch tv with the fam...(the weekly "Cars" fix)

See the family here:

 Turtle Fam

On a side note: Can I just tell you that it is absolute torture to root for the Houston Rockets' enemy and nemesis in these NBA Finals? Go....Mavs...That just looks awkward typing it. But I've gotta keep the love in Texas, especially when the competition is the pre-madonna drama queens, one who WAY too frequently speaks about himself in the third person. Jonathan hates that.

Where's the Reward?

Back to sacrifice. It has increasingly dawned on me how self-centered I am. Big shock - please hold off the emails and reponses congratultating me for coming around to what I'm sure everyone else has known for quite some time.

Seriously though.

Why do we bask in our own leisure and neglect investing in others? Why is it all too easy to check out and choose our own personal comfort over inentionally connecting with others, getting to know them, or (gasp) ministering to them in some tangible way? This is so much bigger than being a basketball fanatic. What is it that we're pursuing for ourselves, but with complete disregard for others and perhaps with no thought of God's purpose and mission for our lives?

I think (sometimes subconsciously, sometimes not) we live what we believe. When it comes to sacrificial living, investment and discipleship, we often weigh the perceived cost and stop short because we're thinking, "Where's the reward"? What's in it for me? Why should I have to give up my ________? Besides, being intentional with relationships is messy. How many of us have a past littered with broken relationships? No? You may be reading the wrong blog then!

Eddie May Be on to Something...

Like old Eddie V. from Pearl Jam, our conception of sacrifice means certain death. If I live sacrificially, somehow I'm missing out on something. It'll kill me. But imagine...what if we could be a sacrifice...but still live on? What if we patterned our lives after someone who lived on after great sacrifice? Let's continue this for another time... Thoughts?

taste and see

Psalm 34:8 tells us: "Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

I thought about this verse earlier this evening as the boys were throwing down some of mom's delicious cheesy chicken soup.

                                                           

Shortly thereafter, Luke and Levi eagerly devoured some popsicles while hanging out on the front porch.

for levi...eating is very spiritual (i think he's meditating here)

Luke...well, his appetite is fickle to say the least. Tonight was actually a good dinner night for Mr. Luke. Though he did manage to squeeze down a few bites of the soup, he mostly got stuffed on chips and milk (much to his dismay - not chocolate milk). However, when mom mentioned the possibility of an orange flavored frozen delight...game over. Suddenly, Luke drew from a reservoir of hunger previously unknown. Amazing how quickly four bites of chicken disappeared after 15 minutes of haggling over 1/4 teaspoon-sized nibbles.

Levi...different story. Levi sampled two bowls of soup. Then he asked for more. We had to cut the kid off. I mean, don't get me wrong - I want beefy, strong boys, but this kid takes eating to a different level sometimes. Scary.

Back to Psalm 34. I read this passage earlier this week - picking through Psalms and the book of Deuteronomy right now. Our world is crazy busy right now (I'm sure yours is super chill, laid back, not busy at all). In the midst of getting my feet wet with a new ministry, new church, upcoming move, part time job, etc. etc. this verse was a good reminder, a good guage to check my heart in all of this. 

See, there's no doubt when the boys are hungry (see above pics). It's written all over their faces, literally. Levi can't hide his love for cheesy chicken soup or orange popsicles. So I'm asking myself tonight, am I hungry for God? If I have this God-sized hole in my soul that is only filled with communion with Jesus, am I hungry for Him? When's the last time I walked away from time spent in Scripture, in prayer, in a worship service, hanging with others saying, "Man, I've tasted and seen that Jesus is good." I've been there. Love it. But it's so easy to fall away. So easy to put it in on cruise control. I don't want that. I want communion with almighty God. As my good friend Paul Shockley says, "I want to want God!". So tonight I'm checking my heart. I'm not crazy about what I see at this particular moment, but I'm asking God to grow in me a stronger desire and an appetite for Him. He's good (so much more than we know). The boys love to taste good things. Why is that we become so complacent with tasting something so good?

Taste and see.

My boys did. What about you?

 

"quality time" with your kids?

Marc Driscoll on Quality Time

Big thanks to Kyle Carlson for posting this on Facebook.

"You don't know when the quality time (with your kids) is going to surface, so you have to be attentive and aware as much of the time as possible..."

Driscoll goes on to point to the example of Jesus as His work was "inconvenienced" by some kids that stumbled upon the scene. How convicting for me personally as a father!

"So Jesus is attentive, He's present, and He makes them a priority. He disrupts His plans, He allows them to interrupt His day, and He makes them a priority."

Some questions I'm asking myself right now:

Am I "interruptable"?

Am I attentive to my wife? my boys?

In the midst of all that I've got going on, are my children a priority?

I believe there's a balance between structure (i.e. a set "family discipleship time...which by the way I'm failing miserably in right now!) and a fluid approach to connecting with your kids as you capitalize on certain moments. But the goal is always the same for a Christian parent: Are we pointing our kids to Jesus? Are we helping them wrap their minds around God, around their relationship with Him and around life's questions? The "church" doesn't exist so that parents can farm out their discipleship responsibility. Let me just encourage you: You are the best discipler your kid will ever know! Seriously. You spend the most time with them, you know what makes them tick (for the most part) and you (hopefully!) care about them more than anyone else in the world. All it will take is a little intentionality, a little attentiveness and a willingness to have your stuff interrupted. But man is it worth it.

And the principle is the same in all of life and all of life's relationships. When we pray, "God give me eyes to see and ears to hear", let's actually mean it! Be ready for God to answer that prayer as He reveals opportunities.

Convicted,

Jonathan

so it's been a while...

Less than spectacular...

That's what my blogging skills are. Honestly, my blogging skills make the Houston Astros look like an All-Star squad from 1998 (when everyone was still hopped up on roids). Let's see, in 2 1/2 months since my last blog, what possibly could have changed with life, with ministry, with the fam...

Everything.

A few changes...

Try this on for size. From May - July this year, our family will tackle the following:
1) change jobs
2) buy a home
3) change cities 
4) have a baby

All in a days work. I'll give you the clift notes version and then hopefully fill some gaps in time (through my faithful blogging). Some months back God began stirring us up, speaking through the Bible, speaking through our circumstances and preparing us for change. Crazy thing, we are now church planters with a good friend of mine, Casey Cease (http://www.c3magnolia.org/). No longer a marriage pastor at a church with a membership boasting more than 50,000...I'm now a community pastor at a church that boasts...okay, we don't really boast...around 50! We are excited, hopeful and terrified all at the same time.

Clarity or Faith?



Dad said Jesus would take the wheel... :)



In the midst of sensing God's call to take this step of obedience, I was given some great advice: "Don't pray for clarity (which of course I'd been praying for...). Instead, pray for faith." That hit me square between the eyes. How often do we wait until everything lines up? Makes sense? Is "risk free"?...before stepping out and following God. Obviously there's a great balance here! God gives us discernment and common sense, but the "safest place to be is in the center of God's will" isn't in my Bible, although it makes for yet another fantastic Christian cliche statement (for more examples, turn your radio dial to...stop hating...you thought it too).

So in the midst of going through Exodus a few months back, I came across Exodus 16:9-10: Then Moses said to Aaron "Say to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, 'Come near before the Lord, for he has heard your grumbling.'" And as soon as Aaron spoke to the whole congregation of the people of Israel, they looked toward the wilderness, and behold, the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud.

The context reveals a very dependent nation of Israel wandering through the dessert, daily teathered to God and His prophet for their next cup of water, their next meal, etc. In Exodus 16, God is about to provide the people with sustenance aplenty, but they needed to learn a little object lesson. See, the wilderness was EXACTLY where Israel was supposed to venture. Nothing about their circumstances was going to change that their next step was "into a vast barren landscape". But you know what? That's exactly where the glory and presence of God were! And if He was calling them into the wilderness, you better believe He was going to take care of His peeps.

Hold on Levi! We're not in Houston anymore!

Wow. First of all...

The Woodlands/ Magnolia is hardly a vast barren landscape. The wilderness? I think not. But when you're leaving your cozy (okay...semi-cozy) office behind, your comfort, your security and perks to boot, you better believe I pulled an "Israel" and thought long and hard about the next step. We're not in Kansas anymore Toto. Nothing was going to change the unkowns. Actually, they're still alive and well. But you know what? If God has called us to take this step, He'll pave the way. He'll provide. He'll guide.

And He is.

I am far from a perfect husband, father, pastor, person, etc. But I'm learning to walk by faith. You'd think I would have the market cornered at 31 and nearly 10 years in the "ministry." I'm just beginning to understand what it means to trust God. I thought I knew, but I had no idea. If you're looking for a good resource on faith, I'd recommend reading Ron Owens Biography of Manley Beasley. Great book. Very challenging. The takeaway and the challenge? What step of obedience is God calling you to take? Are you still waiting to get all your ducks in a row before stepping out? Have you put God in a box that revolves around your personal comfort? What conviction are you currently stuffing away and ignoring?

A couple of thoughts: Let Scripture be your compass. Not man. Not your own intuition. Not anything else. Next, be bold. Step out! Obey. My sister moved to Seattle last November to work for World Vision. Why? Becuase she was willing to step out in faith! I'd love (seriously) for some folks to post a brief note on a significant step of faith they've taken very recently. Let's be a community of people who do daring things in pursuit of a God who went on a daring mission for us! I'm thankful Jesus stepped out (Philippians 2:5-8). Let's follow in his footsteps.

One final note...

My wife is amazing. Can I just say that I actually (seriously) believe Ephesians 5. I am under the conviction that when a husband is willing to pursue Christ and sacrificially love and serve his wife/family, that she is actully compelled to...gasp...follow him! I love watching Stephani pursue Christ. I love that she trusts God, and I love that she trusts me. Talk about instant accountability! Pray for us. Pray for her. After all, she is 7 months pregnant in the midst of a crazy transition! Let the adventure continue!

grace that sets apart

So now and again, I'll grab a  pen and pad and jot down some thoughts.
Often, it takes shape and becomes a poem, some long and some short.
Here's a poem that reflects some things that have been resonating with me lately.

These are crazy times,
And we have distracted minds,
Endless dialogue and speculation,
About God, man and the state of our nation,
We elevate our own perception,
Entrapped by walls of misconception,

What are "big thoughts" when the source is man?
Where is the balance if we don't understand?
Wisdom begins with an Author of One,
It's not born in experience, it's found in the Son,

So when grace becomes license to pursue our sin,
And love is a covering to excuse all men,
When the character of God is abused beyond measure,
And the full work of Christ is no longer our treasure,

When grace is a commodity that we consume,
When God's love is something we simply presume,
When the kingdom is no longer taught or believed,
And the cross ends with us so that we are relieved,
When heaven and hell are up for debate,
And those who stand firm are accused of hate,

What shall we say, shall we continue to sin?
That grace may abound and all may enter in?

God help us, God hold us and guard our heart,
All praise for His grace that sets us apart.

a lesson from luke and levi...

A couple of weeks ago, Steph showed me a series of pictures that absolutely had me rolling. For Christmas, the boys got brand spankin new mini-lawn mowers and recently decided to take them for a test drive. It was all fun and games until...

and then...

and then...

and finally...

What started out as something so lighthearted and fun quickly left Luke distraught beyond all measure (you can obviously tell who lost the lawn mower chicken battle).  In a span of seconds, from glee to gloom. From amused to abused! The moral of the story: not all mini-lawn mowers are created equal! Okay, so I'm not sure if there really is a moral, but it did get me thinking. So often we jump into our leisure activities with the intention of having fun, being entertained, etc. But I would argue in our every-increasingly hedonistic, self-centered world, that what so often starts out as fun and games can sometimes hurt us! Here are some thoughts:

• Instead of hitting the golf course (again) this weekend, what about taking your wife on a date?
• Instead of hitting the couch and watching the game this weekend, what about picking up a good book? What about grabbing your Bible and reading a few chapters?
• Instead of watching your show, pick up the phone and call that friend, that relative or that person that's been on your mind - catch up with them!
• Instead of making leisure and entertainment the main thing, put it all in perspective. Don't look back and regret not making relationships and community more of a priority. Don't regret not stealing back some of that free time to pursue God.

Learn a lesson from our boys.

Mini-lawn mowers are fun for a while, but...